Are we are becoming too #disconnected?

We take shortcuts on everything …

We have fast food, fast times, and even speed dating. Technology is changing our skills. Human interaction is being replaced with our technology. We are using computers, cellphones, and social media. We believe these types of changes are those that we think we like. But we have become more and more distracted- there is so much more to do, see, and respond to.

Everything is instantaneous.  So, I can understand that it is getting more difficult to know what to pay attention to and to be able to engage others. It is hard to be heroic and authentic to connect with someone- it takes risk.

We are living a fast-paced life. It has been reported that we have barely enough time to spare- less than 5 hours a week of free time. We have to check our cellphones and social media many times a day. We don’t seem to even have the time to put down our phones, and meet a friend. We try to get so much accomplished – it makes us feel like we have to get in, get out, and get it done.

I believe it may even be time to put down the phone, and meet a friend for coffee.

Technology may also be destroying the meaning in interactions, disconnecting us from the world. We may be thinking we interact more, but research has shown us, we feel more dis-connected and isolated than ever before. And as a result, even our brains may be changing.

So, I challenge you…

What if you decided today in order to achieve your big goals and dreams, you must put the cellphone down and connect to someone?

AND, what if you decided today to make all of your interactions important to create real relationships, feel happier, and live longer?

What if you decided today to risk being #heroic and connect?

Communication Hacks

COMMUNICATION HACKS

Here is a new podcast where I was interviewed by the wonderful Adam Markel. Here are a few ways we discussed to make your communication stand out.

We’re all communicating constantly, whether we’re using verbal or non-verbal communication such as energy and telepathy. Communication strategist, educator, speaker, and author, Dr. Julee Hafner, is an incredible communicator. She’s an amazing diagnostician that can take a look at how you communicate and quickly let you know when you’re, as she puts it, “speaking heroically” or in a way that move other people. She can also identify how you might be missing the mark and ways to improve this important life skill. In this episode, Dr. Hafner dives into communication and how we can use it differently to make our lives even better in some ways.

Enjoy more episodes of The Conscious PIVOT Podcast at AdamMarkel.com or download them on your favorite podcast player.

Looking for more wisdom, resources and support for your own business or personal pivot? Join our incredible PIVOT community on Facebook at pivotFB.com and visit StartMyPIVOT.com to download your free Kickstart Guide!

Looking Within First

Everyone has those special moments in life that make you think.  Some call them turning points, or even ‘the moment”. When you realize something in your life needs to change – a pivot point in my life- a reckoning moment where everything needs to shift. Would you agree that we have all had those moments? Yes…

A few years ago, I was at a career impasse and did not know what to do. I felt like I was failing or stuck and I seemed obsessed with the negativity and problems. Which way do I go?

And then it hit me- I needed to change my mindset. Instead of trying to change the outside, I needed to change the inside first. I needed to stop bemoaning what was without, look within and take action!

So, I took action. I asked good questions about my skills and how could I build on that. The difference now was that I could run to a computer and decided- a PhD. program.

Not only did I get in, much to my surprise, the big day finally came. Not only did my changed mindset and the Universe reward me, I completed the program.

It was time for the hooding ceremony. The pageantry was like winning Olympics. They placed a cloth drape like the gold medal over my head. I stood for mere seconds while people clapped. I had changed my mindset and took action and the feedback came. Internal mindset had made the difference.

And so, I had my completion. I had a degree and soon a job in academia, or so I thought. And, the Universe was ready to reward me after I took action… right? Well, after over 200 applications, no job materialized. I was devastated yet again. But my mindset kicked in.

So again, I rolled up my sleeves, shifted my mindset and beliefs and decided on some new actions to take. I unlearned. I decided that my mindset about education wasn’t working for me. I still wanted to cry but instead, I looked within and took action until making the pivot needed. By looking within and making the change there first, my pivot was made.

#PersonalChallenges will always occur…

It has been quite a while since I have written a blog. It has been a challenging time. My website was being created, going live, and then updated. There were delays. I considered changing the technology platforms on my computer. Then there were the technical difficulties. And then there were many other issues that needed attention. Keeping focused in difficult times can be difficult.

But, here I am, now through those times. Even during difficult times, I had the opportunity to stop and think. What should I be doing? There is an old expression about should-ing on yourself, but I won’t go into that now. I should have been more active. I should have reviewed my New Year’s resolutions to see which ones that needed work. I should have been more productive. How many times have you felt this way?

I also thought about the could-haves… What could I be doing better… differently? I could have written another book (which I did), I could have rested more (which I didn’t), I could have created more blogs. I could have, I should have…

Wait- it was those thoughts that created all the turmoil after some minor technical and other difficulties. What was I creating? How had I been a part of making experiences more challenging? I then thought about my role…

It is not what happens to us, it is how we experience it that matters. It is what we choose to think about the experience. It is what we say to ourselves that makes the difference in how we feel, and how we act. Our behaviors are controlled by what we think about and say to the most important person in the world- ourselves. It is the person that I think about all day long, that I take around everywhere, the one that listens to every comment I make about my experiences that matters. How I speak to the me inside can improve or limit my attitudes, feelings and behavior. And, it my choice. What I decide to say to me; the most important person in my world will create my future.

Happy New Year

The New Year is upon us! It is always good to start this year fresh with new hopes, wishes and dreams of what is to come. I know that it is time for an avalanche of good fortune for you. I am excited for all the blessings we will all experience. It is my fondest wish that you and yours have an abundant year!

Talking to Connect


How do you talk? Are you someone who clearly states your message, or do you expect to have people read your mind? Do misunderstandings follow you and you have trouble getting your foot out of your mouth? Are you afraid that only others can get their point across well? Even with the all the buzz and craziness of constant technological change, each of us really wants to connect with others; our brain was hardwired to want that connection. Conditioning tells us to be near safe things and people. Our survival depends on it. When we understand our communication, we have the advantage in our business and personal lives. Communication tells something about you and who you are. You can’t avoid communicating something when interact with others. Let’s face it; some people are more skillful than others are, especially in communicating. If people are reported to speak as many as 20,000 words in a day, there is large possibility that misunderstandings will happen. By sending clear messages, and fine-tuning your interpersonal skills, you can become a successful “communication completer”. When we can successfully make that personal connection through communication completions, we have found somewhere we can belong and enjoy connecting, where there is less stress, confusion and misunderstandings. Isn’t that what we really want? Help yourself take the foot out of your mouth and be a successful communicator.

Unlearn This Year – Prosper Next Year


“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” (Toffler) What does that mean for us? First, let’s consider what jobs that we have had to unlearn. For example, icemen, (those people that delivered your ice in a horse drawn truck), switchboard operators (usually ladies that directed telephone calls by placing connected wires into sockets), elevator operators (who ran the elevator for you directing you to your floor) and, copy boys (young boys who ran pages to another department in a newspaper) just to name a few. I am sure you can think of many more. These are examples of obsolete jobs that were unlearned. So, what do you do? “Will I be obsolete in my job, too?” you ask? The short answer is probably. For those of us that can look for and develop their own opportunities, there is hope. If you are not acting, then you will allow someone else to act for you. Because change is always happening, consider it as the ultimate “life constant”. Become flexible in your learning; let go of what does not serve you. How you choose your opportunities is not only essential for your future survival, but for your chance to thrive. Change is difficult for most, but through your ability to be an unlearner, you can make change successful. I help people make the unlearning shift. For more information, contact me

THE HOLIDAYS… Bah Humbug?

As we go into the holiday season, I realize am really thankful. I have glorious opportunities ahead and the ability to put them forth. It is a wonderful time to move forward. It is my time. We have just finished Thanksgiving and the holiday season is upon us. But, how many times have you heard, “Ba Humbug” or some other negative communication about the holidays? The holidays always mean different things to different people. For many, it means joy and laughter, watching children wonder at lights and sounds of the season. Unfortunately, for some, it means none of those things. They may view the holidays entirely differently. They may be alone or in sadness. It could be our veterans, reliving the horrors of war. It could be an elderly person living alone or someone with dementia. Or, they may be those that have lost someone close to them at this time of year. For many of us, the holidays are not joyful as they should be. But, you can make a difference and spread your message of love at this time of year. I am sure you can think of someone. Someone you know needs a kind word, a show of support, or even a hug. Let them know you care and support them at their difficult time. It might make all the difference in the world. I am thankful that I can take the time to lend a hand, share a smile, a kind word, and offer a hug to someone in need. Make it everyone’s wonderful holiday!

I am Grateful…

A wise person once said. “When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen.” I recommend picking up your own pen and tell your story. But, as you probably know, you couldn’t have done it alone. No one lives in a vacuum. Be grateful for those that have helped you along the way. Take the time to communicate your appreciation. Thank you- you know who you are. Feel free to share this message with those you care about. For more information contact: #drjuleehafner.com

The Communicator?

Aristotle said, “We do not act rightly because we have virtue. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Here is something that happened to me that showed me the impact of good communication habits. Research has shown that leadership skills are related to how we communicate. Have you ever had this experience? After our meeting, I left feeling very uneasy. Was it because the meeting didn’t go well? Was it because there was nothing accomplished? No, everything went well- or so it seemed. Still, I couldn’t escape that funny, nagging feeling. So I went over that afternoon in my mind… This CEO loudly told me about “his” profits, and what he was doing to take the company public. He gave me the feeling that he needed little input from the rest of the company. He leaned towards me stating, “I will make this company money”. And yes, he told ne in no uncertain terms that he made all the decisions. He never used “we” or “my team” when he told me his plans. And then, there was that nagging feeling. He stared me down. He kinda got into my face when he talked. Maybe that was it… Or maybe it was everything he said and did… I just knew I didn’t want to work with him. What are the costs of poor communication? What about what he didn’t say? After doing some research, and paying attention to that nagging feeling, I remembered that leadership isn’t just about money. We have an internal guidance system, that nagging feeling that warns us about “dangers”. Those costs include, not being productive, reworking projects, and most importantly missing the real authentic relationships you really want to matter what you are doing. I am sure you can think of countless examples of people that miss the deal, create misunderstandings, or lose a friendship. When you know the tactics to successful communication completions, you create the relationships in your business and personal life that sustain you and create success. So the next time you wonder how you come across to others or whether you should even care about communication completions or not, think what the real cost of poor communication is to you and those around you and you should have your answer. Dr. Julee Is a communication strategist who helps other master their nonverbal message. Contact her at drjuleehafner.com